How Are You Feeling??

That's the question of the day, actually every day.  Every day I see someone for the first time since delivering Graham, they always ask, "How are you feeling?".  But, it's usually with a tilted head and half smile as if they're waiting for me to break down in tears.  Sort of that same look of sympathy you get when you've lost a loved one.  Don't get me wrong, I know they're genuinely concerned and I greatly appreciate people checking in on me.  I've felt so much love from so many people since delivering.  I'm sure it's probably hard for some of them to believe me but I'm doing really great.  I'm so full of joy that sadness really hasn't even had much of an opportunity to creep in.       

Don't get me wrong, I did have a little window a couple days ago where sadness hit me out of nowhere (in the middle of Target of all places) and I cut the trip short and went home to sob for a little while.   But you know what, it actually made me feel more normal.  The emotions really hadn't hit me as I was preparing myself for them to.  From what I understand postpartum depression can be an ugly beast and my heart goes out to those that have dealt with it.  The hormones are absolutely out of whack and doing all sorts of unkind things to a woman's body after childbirth.  However, this wasn't that.  I wasn't even sure what the sadness was.  It came and went pretty quickly and it only happened once.  I later confided in the nurse (that calls to check up on you after you return home)  and she reassured me it was completely expected and normal to not know why I was crying.  It was the hormones working themselves out.

Believe it or not, I went back to work yesterday and I've even started hitting the track.  My doctor encouraged the walking and getting exercise to speed up my recovery time.  It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that it was just 6 days ago that I delivered.  My recovery was nothing like this with my boys.  Of course, the deliveries of my boys weren't near as kind to my body as Graham's delivery.  I'm currently down 10 lbs and hoping to be 100%  recovered before too long so I can work on this extra stomach stuff.  They warned me to stay off the scale for a few weeks but I just couldn't help myself.         

What are we up to now?  Well, we're trying to find the norm again.  We're relishing in the photo and text updates of Graham's growth.  He is one ADORABLE little baby!!  Every picture I see of him puts a big smile on my face and melts my heart.  I'm overjoyed by the love being showered on him and his parents.  It absolutely rocks!!