Lilypie - First Birthday

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

How Are You Feeling??

That's the question of the day, actually every day.  Every day I see someone for the first time since delivering Graham, they always ask, "How are you feeling?".  But, it's usually with a tilted head and half smile as if they're waiting for me to break down in tears.  Sort of that same look of sympathy you get when you've lost a loved one.  Don't get me wrong, I know they're genuinely concerned and I greatly appreciate people checking in on me.  I've felt so much love from so many people since delivering.  I'm sure it's probably hard for some of them to believe me but I'm doing really great.  I'm so full of joy that sadness really hasn't even had much of an opportunity to creep in.       

Don't get me wrong, I did have a little window a couple days ago where sadness hit me out of nowhere (in the middle of Target of all places) and I cut the trip short and went home to sob for a little while.   But you know what, it actually made me feel more normal.  The emotions really hadn't hit me as I was preparing myself for them to.  From what I understand postpartum depression can be an ugly beast and my heart goes out to those that have dealt with it.  The hormones are absolutely out of whack and doing all sorts of unkind things to a woman's body after childbirth.  However, this wasn't that.  I wasn't even sure what the sadness was.  It came and went pretty quickly and it only happened once.  I later confided in the nurse (that calls to check up on you after you return home)  and she reassured me it was completely expected and normal to not know why I was crying.  It was the hormones working themselves out.

Believe it or not, I went back to work yesterday and I've even started hitting the track.  My doctor encouraged the walking and getting exercise to speed up my recovery time.  It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that it was just 6 days ago that I delivered.  My recovery was nothing like this with my boys.  Of course, the deliveries of my boys weren't near as kind to my body as Graham's delivery.  I'm currently down 10 lbs and hoping to be 100%  recovered before too long so I can work on this extra stomach stuff.  They warned me to stay off the scale for a few weeks but I just couldn't help myself.         

What are we up to now?  Well, we're trying to find the norm again.  We're relishing in the photo and text updates of Graham's growth.  He is one ADORABLE little baby!!  Every picture I see of him puts a big smile on my face and melts my heart.  I'm overjoyed by the love being showered on him and his parents.  It absolutely rocks!!        

Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Birth Story

So it's 4 am Wednesday Thursday (slowly losing track of days) and the need for more pain meds woke me up.  Apparently my nurse was also waiting for the right opportunity to draw some blood so here I am wide awake.  What better time to write the birth story.  So that's what I shall do, while it's all still pretty fresh in my head....

Tuesday night we arrived around 7:30 pm to begin the induction.  My doctor was not on call at the time but the plan was to start the cytotec the night before to thin the cervix in preparation for a Wednesday morning delivery with my doctor.


We checked in and got settled in our room.  They hooked me up to the monitors in order to keep an eye on baby and myself before they decided exactly how they wanted to begin the meds.  After watching us for a while they decided to proceed with the cytotec.  At this point I was 1 cm dilated and about 60% effaced (or thinned out).

I was told to just rest in preparation for a big morning.  So we did.  Well, we tried.  I think I got around 4 hours of on and off again sleep.  Poor hubs, he attempted to sleep on a pull out chairbed but it definitely wasn't designed for anyone over about 5' tall.  He must've been pretty exhausted though because I did hear a snore or two here and there. 

This is where it gets a little fuzzy on the time.  I recall the on call doctor coming in  very early in the morning and I was, I believe, about 2 cm by this point and somewhere around 90% effaced.  The contractions were getting horribly painful and I was seeking out the epidural but until I started to show progress it wasn't an option.  They were ready to push the Pitocin and I wasn't sure how I could handle the contractions getting worse.  I've never experienced that sort of pain ever in my life.  I recall having painful contractions with my sons' births but nothing on this level.  I was trying everything for relief, walking, rocking, standing, squatting, breathing...absolutely no relief.  At some point the nurse could tell the contractions were getting close so she decided to check me again and I had made it to a 3.  She consulted with the doc and was given the green light to order my epidural.  This was my saving grace.  I knew relief was on the way and all I had to do was get through a few more contractions.  This would be when the puking began.  When my pain level gets to a certain point, I'm a puker. 

Eventually the epidural arrived and within about 10-15 minutes the whole labor experience took a turn for the better.  My pain was gone.  My mood was euphoric.  (God Bless a man named Dr. John Bonica...if you're not sure who that is, google it.  I'm pretty sure he's the greatest inventor of all time).  I was able to relax, get the Pitocin started for better, stronger contractions and enjoy the rest of the experience. 

My doctor ended up arriving Wednesday morning around 7:30ish to check in on me.  He was ready to get things rolling and so were we.  This is when it all started to progress rapidly.  Within a 5 minute period I went from 3 cm to 7 cm and 90% effaced.  They had me flip from side to side to work on thinning out my cervix, and it worked.  In what seemed like a matter of minutes they were prepping the room for delivery.  Lights down, stirrups up, nursery team assembled.  It was go time.  At 9:15 my doctor arrived.  I was fully dilated and ready to go.  It was beyond amazing to me that I was so comfortable.  No pain.  No fears.  The atmosphere in the room was so relaxing and crazy for me to say but fun.  I was actually enjoying labor.  This isn't something I had ever experienced before.  I was able to push and it didn't hurt.  At all.  I was able to look around and take in E's reaction to seeing her son be born.  It was a feeling out of this world.  It, along with all the other encouragement and love surrounding me at that moment motivated me to push with all my might.  Within 30 minutes of pushing out came little Graham.  And I do mean little, he weighed in at 6 lbs 14 oz and was absolutely perfect in every way. 

I recall looking at my husband and his eyes spoke everything I was thinking at that very moment.  We had done it.  After 41 weeks of working on getting to this very moment, we had made it.  Our reward was beginning.  We were about to witness Graham be reunited with his mother and father.

I wish I could have bottled up the emotions that were running through us at that very moment.  It's an experience and feeling that he and I will never forget.  It's a feeling that he and I shared that very few others will ever get to feel.  In all the wonderful moments the hubs and I have experienced together, this has ranked itself up towards the top.  It was a feeling of love that we hadn't experienced before.  We were in love with love itself.  We weren't in love with a tangible thing, we were in love with an experience, with a moment.  A moment that we, along with the help of many others, had created.  It was a very humbled sort of pride.  We weren't looking for praise or words of affirmation.  We didn't need it, we were witnessing first hand, with our very own eyes the confirmation as to why we chose to partake in surrogacy.  We were seeing why God chose us, what He wanted us to see, what He wanted us to feel.   
 

 
 
 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Happy Birthday, Graham!


Happy Birthday sweet little Graham!
 
March 5, 2014
9:47 am
6 lbs 14 oz
 

 
It's late and I'm exhausted but I wanted to share the great news!  Details to follow...tomorrow. 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

41 Weeks

Yep, still here and still pregnant...41 weeks to be exact.

Friday I had a non-stress test that basically just told us Graham is doing well and no need to worry about his late arrival.  He's hanging out and having a good time I guess.

Yesterday I went back for another non-stress test and same story.  Only this time we also visited with my doctor.  My zero dilation had turned to a whopping 1.  Not real great progress but at least something to show the doc I was headed in the right direction.  He asked if I wanted to induce or wait it out.  Of course I chose induction.  I'm ready.  The hubs is ready.  E&G are most definitely ready.  It's time to get this show on the road.  It's time for us to have a birthday celebration!!!   So he made the arrangements for me to arrive at the hospital tonight to insert a pill to soften the cervix.  Then I am to rest until the morning which is when they will start the Pitocin.

Except if you've followed this story thus far you know that Graham doesn't like to go by the play book.  He always likes to mix things up a bit.  Around midnight last night I was starting labor on my own.  The contractions were about every 7 minutes and painful.  Not so much I couldn't breathe through them but they were definitely the "real deal".  So I sent the hubs after his mom to watch our sleeping children.  When they arrived back at the house we packed up and headed to the hospital.  I was checked and still at a 1.  They did several hours of monitoring and my dilation didn't change so around 8 am they sent us back home and said to come back at scheduled induction time tonight.  So that is where we're at.  I'm at home, contracting, uncomfortable at times, but managing to squeeze in sleep, shower and some last minute chores. 

I hope to be posting a birth story next time I log in.  Until then, a big thank you to everyone for all the wonderful wishes and prayers.  God has truly blessed our family to allow us this journey with Graham and all of his family.  We're completely overwhelmed by the kindness they have showered us with and a simple thank you just doesn't quite express our gratitude enough.  You've opened your family and your hearts to us and we are eternally grateful.  We are forever changed. 

Saturday, March 1, 2014

#stillpregnant

Obviously plans changed a bit since the last time I posted.  On Tuesday I went in for pre-op bloodwork and a quick visit with my doctor.  He wanted check one last time for position and dilation before we proceeded with the C-section on Wednesday.  To his surprise, and mine, Graham had flipped.  He was now head down so the C-section was cancelled.  However, I was still not dilating so he wouldn't schedule the induction either.  His order was for me to go home and wait.  Great news wrapped in upsetting news. 

Yesterday, I had a non-stress test that went well.  Graham is doing great and just chilling out.  I didn't see my doctor though.  I'm on schedule to return for another non-stress test on Monday morning followed by a visit with my doctor. 

The plus side of all of this...our family is getting to spend some great, quality time with Graham's mom and dad.  We even had the privilege of meeting his grandpa.  Such great people! 

I'm trying my best to remain patient but it's driving my crazy not knowing just when he's going to decide "now is the time".  It's weird knowing it could be minutes from now, hours, or possibly even days.  We're so very close but have a little more waiting.  It's okay though, we know it'll be absolutely worth it!   

Monday, February 24, 2014

2 days to go!

Last night was incredibly rough.  As mentioned before I'm dealing with some painful headaches and last night was no exception.  I woke in the middle of the night with a bad one.  I could feel it not only in my head but in my neck.  I popped a few pills and slapped a hot washcloth on my head and thought I'd get right back to sleep.  Negative.  On top of the awesome headache I also had a sudden case of insomnia.  I was wide awake.  So I did what most insomniacs do, I tinkered on the Internet.  I wasn't looking for anything in particular, just trying to occupy myself while everyone else slept.  Once the medicine kicked in and the pain started to lessen I managed to fall back asleep to some really, really weird dreams.  The hubs always laughs and rolls his eyes when I say this but they do say vivid dreams are a side effect of pregnancy...http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/vivid-dreams-of-pregnant-women.  So, the hubs can laugh all he wants but if it's on the internet it must be true, right?!  ;) 

This morning the headache was back in full force and to be honest, I just feel "blah" all over.  Definitely not myself.  Just to be safe I went to a local pharmacy to use their blood pressure machine to make sure it wasn't anything serious.  I'm relieved to say my blood pressure came back as 119/80.  I feel much better knowing.

Last but not least...today is my last day of work.  I'm officially on maternity leave until I feel well enough to return.  I'm blessed to have such a supportive employer!    

 

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Going The Distance

I'm that lady.  No matter how many prior pregnancies I've had, I will go the full 40 weeks each time. 

I've been having pretty good headaches the past couple of days.  The kind where I have to shut off the lights and find a really quiet spot to ride it out.  The headache meds have been helping but not completely.  My ankles are swelling too when I'm on my feet too much.  My energy level has really declined as well.  I'm sure somehow, someway it's just my body responding to the 40 week mark.  I keep pushing the fluids and I try to stay off my feet for the most part but with two kids to tend to it's a challenge at times.  I'm fortunate that they're old enough to do things for themselves, it's just they don't always want to...we're working on that.

I'm squeezing in one last birthday party tonight for C, our first born and also our leap baby.  We typically celebrate on the 28th when it's not a leap year but it looks like I will be in the hospital on his birthday.  He's being a really good sport about it though.  He never makes much a of fuss about his birthday even though we love too. 

It's hard for the hubs and I to grasp the fact that we have a 14 year old.  When he came into this world we were two very scared, inexperienced parents.  What we didn't know was just how amazing he would make our lives.  He lit a fire in both of us that led us to some really great accomplishments.  We wanted to give our sweet baby boy the best life ever.  My hope for him is that someday when he's grown and raising a family of his own he too will experience the same.  I look forward to sharing with him how much sweeter he made our lives the very minute he entered this world. 

Happy 14th Birthday, son!  We love you.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

6 Days Left


I apologize up front if this sounds like my very own pity party but I do promise I have a much better attitude and hold on it this morning.  Yesterday, not so much. 

Here's how yesterday's appointment went, in a condensed version...

Doctor walks in and first words, "Hello, Jennifer.  Looks like you'll be done next week.  Your bloodwork is scheduled for Tuesday and C-section on Wednesday."

I obviously had a deer in headlights look on my face because he said, "Didn't they tell you?".  Uhh, NO!  Last visit I was under the assumption I could think over the option for an ECV (turning the baby).  To which he quickly informed me he thought I didn't want that so he didn't take it into consideration.  All I said last week was that I wasn't sure I could handle that and he said, "of course you can".  He then tells me that it's a little late to attempt it and we should've tried at 37 weeks when the baby had more room to turn if he was able to.  At this point he was fairly certain his attempt at an ECV would be unsuccessful.  So, the option was totally off the table now.  Just great. 

I've come to accept the fact that this is what needs to be done and there's a reason it has come to this.  I must simply trust.  That's where I am at now, trusting.  And in turn, I'm beginning to allow myself to get excited.  We have a concrete plan.  We have a DATE!!!  On February 26th Graham will be arriving via C-section. 

There's only one thing that could affect this date and that is if my water breaks or I go into labor before the 26th.  My doctor explained that typically when a baby is breached, or even in proper head down position, and your water breaks the baby drops and the head or butt compresses on the opening of the cervix preventing the umbilical cord from slipping through.  When baby is laying sideways and the water breaks, the cord could slip down and through the cervix causing a life threatening situation.  The one thing I do have going for me that leads him to believe this wouldn't happen is that my cervix is closed tight, no dilation at all.  He checked yesterday.  If my water is to break or I go into labor before the 26th then I am to head to hospital right away and a C-section would be performed that day.

Here's a pretty good video about the C-section procedure if you're interested in watching but I must warn you it is graphic so watch at your own risk.  http://bcove.me/54by7fuo  I've heard stories of other's C-sections but I wanted to actually see it for myself so I googled.  Yes, I google and I google often. 

I know I'll be scared the day of but I'm more concerned about my husband!  We've had the discussion and he confided in me that he didn't think he could get through it without passing out.  He wants so badly to be there for me and I want him there as well but we're both scared.  The last thing either of us need is additional worry that day.  I really don't want to get my hopes up but we're going to try to sweet talk the nurses or someone into sweet talking my doctor into allowing us to sneak Graham's mom (or dad) into the operating room with us.  I know the odds are stacked against us but we'll never know if we don't at least ask.  Knowing our situation I pray that they have a little extra compassion and understanding that day.    

There's more to how I'm feeling emotionally about this but it's not the most positive, uplifting attitude to have and I'm trying super hard to squash it.  So far so good.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

In Case You Are Wondering...

Yep, still pregnant.  Patiently awaiting his arrival.  39 weeks and...

Thursday, February 13, 2014

38 Week Visit

Yesterday was my 38 week checkup.  It started with an ultrasound to figure out how Graham is laying.  The results...
He's transverse, or laying left to right instead of head up or down.  It looks a lot like the pic above only he is facing outwards.  This explains a LOT of my discomfort as far as bending and breathing.  It's a much tighter fight for him and puts more pressure on the both of us.  What I've always thought to be his butt tucked into my right ribcage is actually his head.   

Obviously he cannot come out this way so we're looking at three possibilities right now:

  1. ECV - this is where the doctor tries to turn the baby with this hands.  It involves a little medication to relax the uterus and fetal monitoring to make sure baby tolerates it well.
  2. C-section
  3. Wait it out and see if he flips on his own, if he doesn't and I go into labor, well then we're pretty much just left with the C-section option
My head was spinning after we left the office and I didn't know what to do.  I was so confused.  Everything up until this point has been the norm.  I've carried two of my own children and it's all been fairly routine.  This was uncharted territory.  This was a big decision.  This was a decision I wasn't prepared to make.  Last blog I posted about only making decisions affecting my care, well here I am having to decide something that has overlapped Graham and I.  Yes, this affects my care but in turn also affects Graham's.  That was a little more pressure than I woke up prepared for.

D and I spent a little time just sitting in the parking lot after the appointment.  I think we were both a little dazed and caught off guard.  I may have shed a tear or two but D has always been amazing when it comes to talking me through stressful situations.  He said all the right things and helped me remember that whatever the decision, it will be His plan, not ours.  Have I mentioned how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband?!

After much thought and a good night's rest ("good?!"...okay, that's a stretch) I've decided I'm going to give the ECV a shot in hopes to avoid the C-section.  If it works, fantastic!  If it doesn't, then C-section it is.  Or perhaps Graham will just surprise us all with his own plans.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

38 Weeks

I just finished completing the hospital birth plan this afternoon.  It involved a lot of questions about my wishes before, during and after delivery.  Such as...
 
  • Who gets to be present during birth?
  • Who gets to hold baby first?
  • Do you want to see the baby after birth?
  • Who do you want to cut the cord?
  • Do you want the baby and parents allowed in your room?
 
To be honest, the only questions I feel I should have say so in are the ones concerning my care but that's not quite the way it works.  The hospital sees the woman that delivers as the decision maker until they get legal papers in their hands telling them otherwise. 
 
Luckily D & I have had great communication with Graham's mom and dad so we know what their wishes are and those are the ones we will respect.  My "go to line" if the nurses ask me questions about Graham is going to be, "I'm not sure, you should probably ask his mom and dad" and I will take such pleasure from those words.  I know they're eager to take over their role as mom and dad and the hubs and I are going to be so full of joy as we sit back and observe. 
 
I don't know that either of us could have guessed what surrogacy would require of us emotionally and/or physically but we do know this...it has taught us so much about ourselves and about love.  In the process I hope that it has also taught our sons a thing or two as well about God's love.
 
     
 


Thursday, February 6, 2014

37+ weeks

So now what?  We simply wait.

We optimistically go about planning our weekly lives as if Graham will not becoming this week, or today for that matter.  Although it makes me nervous to commit to much of anything this month, I've somehow managed to commit to numerous activities in February.  The bright side is it will keep me distracted until delivery day.

Sunday will be J's celebration.  Little man is turning 9.  My baby is celebrating his birth. 

Just last night I pulled out his baby book and took a little trip down memory lane.  I've always been a little confused as to what his actual due date was (time and kids will do that to your memory).  J was due on February 16th but, as we found out, that was not the day he was to arrive.  He made his grand entrance at 12:03 in the morning on February 19th.  He was the sweetest, most perfect addition to our little family.  At that very moment I knew I was in trouble.  This little guy immediately entangled himself tightly around my heart.  To this very day he still knows how to pull at my heart strings and draw sympathy from his mom.  He is a very affectionate child and doesn't let a day go by without showing his love.  He loves his morning hugs, goodbyes and affirmations.  He insists on bedtime hugs, sharing of his day, and family hugs (all of which we're more than happy to oblige).  His personality is beyond this world.  One second sweet, calm and loving and the next...the biggest curmudgeon you've ever met.  But, that's what makes little J who he is.  That's what fills our hearts. 

He is our little curmudgeon and on February 19, 2005 he completed our family.       

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Weeklys

Today was my first weekly doctor visit.  It didn't go as well as I had hoped.  I was hoping for answers, something concrete to look forward to but left with nothing but uncertainty.  He checked for dilation but my cervix is completely closed.  He also searched for Graham's position but still isn't exactly sure how he's positioned.  He did say his head is not down where it needs to be for a vaginal birth and he hasn't dropped.  I was certain he had.  I feel lots of pressure and it's been a lot easier to breathe lately.  The only good news I received was that I am down 2 lbs from my last visit. 

I go back next Wednesday for a sonogram to see how Graham is laying.  I'm completely stumped as to how he's laying.  I get kicked or punched in the ribcage as well as the bladder so I don't know what he's up to.  If he's breached or any way other than head down he mentioned possibly being able to turn him or else a c-section (which I'm reaaaaally not wanting). 

With only three weeks left something will have to be decided fairly soon.  Whether it's an induction or a C-section, it will have to be scheduled before I go into labor on my own.  I guess we shall see. 

As for how I'm feeling...tired, very tired.  I can't sleep very well and it's taking it's toll.  Other than that, no other complaints.  It's been a pretty easy pregnancy and it's crazy to think that in merely a few days it will be over.

I know there are those out there curious as to how "the surrogate" responds after delivery.  I'm curious myself.  I don't have the answers but I can promise you this, I will keep it real.  I will blog about it and I won't sugarcoat things.  This blog has taken me this far and I have a feeling it will be taking me much further. 

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

36 weeks

 
Yesterday was my first round of what I thought might be promising contractions.  Only, they weren't.  They were coming about every 3-5 minutes and lasting 1-2 minutes each but they weren't painful.  I know the real ones will be the farthest thing from painless.  Just about the time I thought "maybe this could be it, maybe later they will take it up a notch and start to hurt" they tapered off.

I can say that I'm having a lot more from day to day now and that I feel like my body is really shifting into the final stage.  There's a lot of pressure in my pelvic region and I've been getting sort of crampy from time to time.  There's something I haven't had to deal with for several months and it's been nice.  I sort of welcome pain now because it's time to reunite this "Little Cracker" with his mom and dad.  It's going to be the highlight of my journey!  

Friday, January 24, 2014

Time to Pack


I guess it's time to start thinking about packing my hospital bag...only I can't.  I can't bring myself to it.  I'm a horrible packer.  I hate it.  No really, we went to Hawaii last year for our honeymoon and as unbelievably excited as I was I didn't finish packing until the morning we were to catch our flight.  I just don't like packing, period.  I will procrastinate until the last possible minute.  It brings on a whole other level of anxiety. 

I did find a helpful list of what I should pack since I really can't remember that long ago.  I still think the list exaggerates on what you should bring vs. what I'll actually need.  The hubs is insisting I have the bag packed or I will end up with all kinds of things I don't want if he's left in charge of it.

Let's see....
  • nightgown or pajamas - All you get to wear is that sweet open backed hospital issued maternity gown.  All modesty seems to go out the window during labor.    
  • slippers and socks - YES!  A must.  I think I always forgot these in the past.  I will also add a pair of flip flops for the shower.  It takes me back to my college days and having to share the shower stalls.  You never went in the stalls without your flip flops on. 
  • underwear - now this is something that the hospital actually provides that I'll never forget...those sweet oversized, granny mesh undies.  Before, during and after labor all desires for fashion go out the window and comfort is the only thing on your mind.
  • toiletries - but of course, only how do you pack these things without buying a brand new everything.  I'm using these items daily so I can't exactly pack them ahead of time.  Surely the hubs can figure out the essentials, such as my toothbrush.  We shall see.
  • going home outfit - so the pregnancy is over and as a first timer many years ago I thought I'd be going home several sizes smaller...WRONG!  Reality is, you're no smaller after than you were before.  It took 9 months to pack all that on, it'll take at least that (if not double) to get it all back off.  So, maternity clothing or "fat pants" (think yoga, stretch lounge pants)....check!  Note to self:  go easy on yourself, it will take time to get where you want to be, embrace the miracle and not your weight. 

The list really isn't that long.  I just need to buck up and do it.  Some of the other items they suggest make me laugh.
  • massage lotions
  • aromatherapy items
  • cosmetics
  • snacks
I'm not going to a spa. Props to those of you that found the relaxation enough to enjoy these sorts of items, but not this girl.



Tuesday, January 21, 2014

35 Weeks

 
This is what it looks like when Graham gets pushy.  I believe that's his bum pushing out on the left side.  With not a lot of room left in there his movements leave my belly looking all sorts of distorted.
 
Today is my 35 week checkup and I hope to talk induction.  It won't happen until 39 weeks but if we could start looking ahead at a date that would be awesome!  Of course if my water breaks before that it's game on as they won't be stopping labor at this point.  From what I've been reading, Graham is fully developed.  The final month is primarily used for additional weight gain. 

It's also hospital pre-registration day! 

* UPDATE *

Just made it back from the doctor's office.  Dr thinks Graham's head is down still but isn't certain.  His heartbeat was 136 this week.  As babies grow in the womb, their heartbeats begin to settle into a slower pace. 

I go back in 2 weeks and he will do the group strep test, sonogram for baby's position (if necessary) and check for any dilation.  If he finds I'm dilating he will schedule a date for a 39 week induction.  If no dilation, I will see him again in a week and he'll check again.  As far as my water not breaking on its own in my previous pregnancies, well that has zero relevancy on this one.  He said each one is completely new and different and what has happened in the past pretty much means a whole lot of nothing. 

And last but not least the depressing part.  My weight is up to 170lbs.  I've hit the total "recommended pregnancy weight gain" at 35 weeks.  I think I may be on the road to becoming an emotional eater...I comforted myself by eating a donut stick once I left the doctor's office. Super counterproductive, Jen.


Thursday, January 9, 2014

Simply Beautiful...



These pictures are fantastic.  The raw emotions that were captured are beyond amazing! 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Appointment Update

Up 1 lb from 3 weeks ago
Graham's heartbeat is at 156
He is head down!!!  Super exciting (although I was reminded that could change)

My doctor did ask if I was having more contractions, which I have been.  Completely normal and expected for someone who has been pregnant before.  Still nothing to be alert about though.  They're not the real deal yet, just the uterus doing it's thing in preparation. 

And I got an unexpected shot, blah (but really no biggie)  In third trimester they administer a Dtap vaccine

I go back in 2 weeks.  That's all :)

Monday, January 6, 2014

7 weeks to go!


Another not so flattering photo but here's what 33 weeks looks like...  
 
The biggest change I've noticed (besides my size) is that my hunger seems to be tapering off somewhat.  That's not to say I don't eat a lot, it's just starting to slow down.  The mid-morning snacks are no longer necessary nor am I craving them.  Especially when I'm at work.   I'm distracted and I feel full.  If I'm sitting on my butt at home, that's when I tend to end out of boredom and not so much out of hunger.
 
I'm focusing more and more on eating healthier snacks and meals.  Not just for my sake but for my family as well.  I've started removing the unhealthy items from our grocery list and replacing them with better options.  I know from experience that if there isn't a good, tasty replacement that we I will resort back to the unhealthy choice. 
 
As of January 1st, I stopped drinking pop, or sooooda as D prefers to call it.  Do I think I'll go the entire year without drinking pop, no, but it's going to be my "treat" item on rare occassion that we may go to a pizza shop or the like.  Who can eat pizza without pop?! 
 

Just 7 short weeks left until we hit the EDD (expected due date).  As most of you probably know, the EDD is rarely ever the day the baby is actually born.  It could be sooner, it could be later, only time will tell.  I have another OB visit tomorrow morning.  I'm pretty sure he'll just check the heart rate, my weight, blood pressure and send me on my way.  It's my guess that he'll start doing internal exams, to check for dilation, starting next month.